Confessions of a Closet Catholic

"My child, my child," he says sadly. "Maybe Jussy's decided to be vegetarian like me." ." Another fine mess you've gotten us into. It's a Jewish club, but the dinner buffet's always piled high with shrimp and lobster, and other stuff the Torah says Jewish people aren't supposed to eat because it's not kosher. But Dad just sat there eating. Shining the flashlight on it, I read: Secretly, in her closet, she confesses to Father Ted (a teddy bear) and takes Communion (matzo and grape juice).

Helena looks up from the lettuce leaf that she toys with on her plate, and gives my mother a sympathetic glance. Eleven-year-old Justine pours her heart out to her teddy bear, “Father Ted,” in a homemade closet confessional.

Right away, I knew I'd made a mistake.

But I figure Mary is going to know who I'm talking about since he's the fruit of her womb, so I continue. Open up! I have problems with the "Mother of God" part, too.

She's given up chocolate for Lent. 9-12)

I looked to my father, hoping for some support, because even though we don't keep kosher in our house (much to Bubbe's dismay), he at least was brought up that way. And that's only naming a few.

She looks at me and smirks. Nope, I can't be Hindu. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

But when Justine’s beloved Bubbe suffers a stroke, Justine worries that her religious exploration is responsible. "We're studying English history," I lie. Grandpa Leo nodded his head in agreement as he bit into a lobster tail.

And meditate on your actions," he tells me. There are a lot of cool things about Hinduism and Buddhism. "What kind of mishegas are you talking now, Justine?" Justine had a friend named Mary Catherine, who was Catholic and who gave up chocolate for Lent.

I seem to be a master chef for that kind of recipe.

"I'm just not hungry," I mutter. Now I feel genuinely repentant about kicking him in the shin at dinner. Submit your email address to receive Barnes & Noble offers & updates. Back in the dining room, Helena asks who was on the phone. Build Your Kids' Library: Buy 1, Get 1 50% Off  Mom says in That Voice. I take one of the matzos I brought up from the kitchen, and carefully pour grape juice into a Dixie Cup. Having been ridiculed at home for proposing that they keep kosher, Justine decides to give up Judaism for Lent and become a Catholic. When I tried to be Buddhist and meditate, instead of achieving a relaxed and spiritual state of mind, all I could think of was the enormous zit starting to erupt on my chin, my itchy nose, the fact my butt was starting to hurt from sitting cross-legged on the floor, and how much I wanted some of the Swiss chocolate Dad brought back from a business trip. I give Jake a noogie. "How can you be hungry?" The book was simple and flowed easily. with me?" Having been ridiculed at home for proposing that they keep kosher, Justine decides to give up Judaism for Lent and become a Catholic. But then I read about Ramadan. (Yiddish/Hebrew glossary) (Fiction. Grow Your Child's Library with Top Young Reader Series "Anything else?" Confessions of a Closet Catholic is the 2006 winner of the Sydney Taylor Book Award in the Older Readers Category, presented by the Association of Jewish Libraries for the best in Jewish children's literature. he sputtered, dripping cocktail sauce onto his chin. You can view Barnes & Noble’s Privacy Policy It's Friday night, and Mom is yelling at me because I won't eat the chicken she cooked for dinner. Once in my room, I lock the door and change into a long black skirt and a plain black T-shirt. "Shut up, Dog Breath!" I wouldn't be stuck in the cross fire between Bubbe wanting me to be Jewish the Orthodox (or what my other grandparents would call the "old-fashioned") way, and Grandma Lila and Grandpa Leo wanting me to be Jewish but not "too Jewish."

I stumble again. He rattles on the door handle, as if by some magic or the brute strength of his eight-year-old hands, the door will suddenly go open sesame. But apples aren't supposed to like worms, and Mac ... young ottermaid touched by the paw of destiny, embarks on a journey to the mysterious Green Isle, where she joins a band of outlaw otters ...

is, uh . Christian groups worldwide. "Uh, Jussy .

Confession is the reason I'm sitting on the floor of my closet. I ask in my deep Father Ted voice. visit to the eye doctor produces devastating news: Natalie will lose her sight within a few short months.Suddenly her world is turned upside down. So I've given up being Jewish. Book Trailer for Sarah Darer Littman's Confessions of a Closet Catholic. I imagine finding the Top Secret Formula in time to Rule the World and defeat Hitler. of life for Hutch—not only is his hero, Derek Jeter, a shortstop, but so was his father, a former local legend turned pro. about everything related to the fifth grade.

He tells me to go to my room with no dessert. I've just finished confessing, and within minutes of leaving my closet confessional I'm already lying. I got the short, brown, and dumpy genes. I put on the necklace, and feel a familiar pang of guilt. Reading Confessions of a Closet Catholic was an easy read.

It gets me in the mood to confess. I rip it off my head and stuff it into the pocket of my skirt.